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Sunday, September 18, 2011

five lumberjacks walk upto a bar....

...and after having their ID's checked by a bouncer who complains that the Banana Suit is over done, are instantly greeted by Ron Burgundy who tells them he "misses babe too".  Moments after, a scantily clad Dorothy and her creepy Flying Monkey request a picture.  By the time these lumberjacks get their first screwdriver, they've found Waldo. "Britney Spears" is also there...only looking more like a 6' 5" hairy man than the real deal.



Did I mention that it's still dark out? And oh yeah, it's 7 am?

This is breakfast club.  A long standing Purdue University tradition and something I got to experience for the first time this weekend.

After standing around, in awe of the sight around me, us lumberjacks finally found a table.  From our perch we could see a game of words with friends, a couple Cactus mugs (a Purdue bar, famous for it's piano man and neon colored mugs), and Napoleon Dynamite.  Smokey the bear, a friend to the lumberjacks, was in attendance along with Mario and Luigi, Captain and Coke, and the Mystery Machine complete with all the characters.

The scene inside Jakes, a local bar, is energizing.  Every home game at Purdue, students wake up early (or just never go to bed) to get ready in their well thought out and intricate costumes, wait on line, and enter the bars at 7am. The windows of the bars are covered to block out the daylight as the sun rises....inside you have no idea what time it is or how long you have been there.  You can hear the bartender come over the loudspeaker and say "LOOK OUT FOR FREE DONUTS"  to which everyone cheers and continues on singing Piano Man or whatever hit happens to be blaring.  No one seems to notice that it's 7:30, or at least no one cares.

It's like Halloween every Saturday, mixed with a ton of school spirit and a lot more "orange juice"...

Just in case you were wondering....the lumberjacks (complete with plastic ax's) were a hit, getting our picture posted on the B1G mobile twitter and getting our picture taken for the local paper. 

Now I know what you're all thinking.  Since you are all dedicated readers of the blog, you know that the purpose is to share all of the lessons I've learned while living in the midwest.  So while my story about perpetual drunken halloween-esque escapes might be riviting, where are the lessons?  Well, good thing you asked, because here they are...


1. Suspenders should be utilized whenever possible.
      I'm tellin ya, they really work.  They held my pants up the whole day.  Not once did I have to worry about my pants movin around and my bum hanging out.  Thanks, suspenders.

2. Puns are HILARIOUS
     When dressed in a ridiculous costume, try and find as many witty puns to say as possible.  This will make you more intriguing/funny/in character.  For instance, as a lumberjack I enjoyed using "It was an ax-ident", "ax-ually", "you have a funny ax-cent" and "can i ax you something?" throughout the morning and into the afternoon hours before my nap.  People thought it was hilarious, I thought it was hilarious, we all laughed.

3. Don't encourage someone dressed as Frogger to hop across the road into oncoming traffic because it's "what frogger would do".


Since my real camera bit the bullet earlier this summer,  I will be waiting on Ms. Bunder's documentation of all things Breakfast Club, but promise to include photos in this blog.

Until next time....